Love

(I posted this note on my Facebook page awhile back, but thought I'd add it here. When I wrote it on Facebook I was in this stage where I didn't like using capitalization. I'm not sure why I was doing it, but I thought it might be my thing. It was kinda stupid so I've stopped doing that, but I haven't gone back and fixed this post; sorry for the pretension.)

there seems to be some confusion about what love is and its starting to drive me crazy.

first and foremost:

love has very little to do with feelings. my feelings change week to week, day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. most days i don't do what i feel like doing and do lots of things i don't feel like doing. feelings are effected by the people around me, the weather, if i had a good nights sleep, etc. if love depended on whether or not people got a good night's sleep there would be no relationships.

love is about serving someone without condition. love does not draws lines in the sand, or hold grudges, it has NO ulterior motives. if i think someone loves me, but they don't serve me, then they really just enjoy my company. enjoyment is not love and when the enjoyment is over the relationship is gone.

love is a choice. it is my decision whom i will love and whom i will not. it is everyone's choice to love or not to love. too many people substitute enjoyment for love, but enjoyment inevitably comes to an end.

love is the paradox that cares nothing for self and yet has the greatest personal reward.

a few misconceptions:

i cannot love someone that i do not like. i might tell myself that i can, but i would be lying and only fooling one person.

i cannot force someone to love me. i cannot make any decisions for someone else. i may coerce them for awhile to do what i want, but that is not love, not at all, it's actually the opposite.

love does not fail. it may fail to achieve the result you wanted, but serving does not fail. if you serve someone and they refuse, you did not fail to serve, it is the other person who failed to receive your service.

in conclusion:

there's this song (that i honestly don't remember most of) that says, "the greatest thing in all the world is just to love and be loved in return." well i'm not sure if that's the greatest thing in all the world, but it's up there. if you settle for anything less than serving someone unconditionally who also serves you unconditionally you are missing out on one of the greatest things in the world.

love someone.

love someone who loves you.

don't accept any substitutes.