Back in the saddle

I'm going to lead worship tomorrow at Impact. It's been awhile since I've stood at a microphone to lead worship and I think I'm looking forward to it. Ultimately it is what I'd like to do with my life, but it's a bit different when it's a fill-in role. There's not the relationship and the degree of knowing which songs people will know and which ones they won't. It's harder to have a sense for where people are, when to push them to go further and when to let them dwell in a moment.

I know it will go well, but I'm wondering in what sense. There are times when I have reflected as a musician and thought, "that sucked." But in those times there are things I have learned and in the sense of a fuller understanding of who God is and who I am in relation to God, those have been successes as much or more than the others. My pride needs to be knocked down sometimes and being musically incompetent in front of people will do that for you. If this is one of the times, I pray I learn quickly.

Doormat

So today someone was rude to one of the people I work with. She came over to me afterward and vented a bit and wanted me to, "do something about it." The thing she wanted to do was complain to the person's boss.

I didn't.

I did two things.

First we talked about why people lose sight of what's really important and get caught up in their own thing. They go to work at a hospital but forget that they're there to serve patients and not to cross things off their to-do list.

Second I mentioned that maybe when she comes into contact with a person like this she should turn the other cheek. She's a believer so in theory that should actually mean something to her. However, she seemed to take it as some sort of insult. (We talked about it more and I think she's ok.)

It got me to thinking. There's this prevailing thought that when Jesus said that, he didn't mean you should be a doormat. He was using a literary device called hyperbole where you say something that is far beyond reality to make a point.

But as Kari and I were talking about it tonight we started thinking about Jesus' last night with his disciples before his execution. He makes a point of going around and washing his disciples feet. Now I'm not a historian, and I won't claim to know everything about their time or culture, but it struck me that in a way, the last thing Jesus did before his crucifixion was to wipe his disciples' feet, to be a literal doormat for them.

I don't think turn the other cheek is hyperbole. I think that when God says that his wisdom is foolishness to the world that includes being a doormat.

Deserves Got Nothing To Do With It

"In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?" - Saint Augustine

I'm not homeless, and I've yet to miss a meal because I couldn't afford it. I still have a job, and there's not much danger of me losing it because of the economy (but who really knows, right). I pay my taxes: income, sales, gas, car tabs, whatever they ask.

So what's the deal with our sovereign government funding multimillionaires' bonuses while roughly 60,000 people live on the streets of LA?

"Deserves got nothing to do with it" - Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven

Love

(I posted this note on my Facebook page awhile back, but thought I'd add it here. When I wrote it on Facebook I was in this stage where I didn't like using capitalization. I'm not sure why I was doing it, but I thought it might be my thing. It was kinda stupid so I've stopped doing that, but I haven't gone back and fixed this post; sorry for the pretension.)

there seems to be some confusion about what love is and its starting to drive me crazy.

first and foremost:

love has very little to do with feelings. my feelings change week to week, day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. most days i don't do what i feel like doing and do lots of things i don't feel like doing. feelings are effected by the people around me, the weather, if i had a good nights sleep, etc. if love depended on whether or not people got a good night's sleep there would be no relationships.

love is about serving someone without condition. love does not draws lines in the sand, or hold grudges, it has NO ulterior motives. if i think someone loves me, but they don't serve me, then they really just enjoy my company. enjoyment is not love and when the enjoyment is over the relationship is gone.

love is a choice. it is my decision whom i will love and whom i will not. it is everyone's choice to love or not to love. too many people substitute enjoyment for love, but enjoyment inevitably comes to an end.

love is the paradox that cares nothing for self and yet has the greatest personal reward.

a few misconceptions:

i cannot love someone that i do not like. i might tell myself that i can, but i would be lying and only fooling one person.

i cannot force someone to love me. i cannot make any decisions for someone else. i may coerce them for awhile to do what i want, but that is not love, not at all, it's actually the opposite.

love does not fail. it may fail to achieve the result you wanted, but serving does not fail. if you serve someone and they refuse, you did not fail to serve, it is the other person who failed to receive your service.

in conclusion:

there's this song (that i honestly don't remember most of) that says, "the greatest thing in all the world is just to love and be loved in return." well i'm not sure if that's the greatest thing in all the world, but it's up there. if you settle for anything less than serving someone unconditionally who also serves you unconditionally you are missing out on one of the greatest things in the world.

love someone.

love someone who loves you.

don't accept any substitutes.

Show Me the Money

I'm noticing something that isn't new. I'm fairly sure that everyone else is noticing it too, so this isn't a new idea or thought or anything profound, but here it is.

The United States is experiencing a financial crisis that is being felt in one way or another by nearly everyone in the country. People are losing their jobs, unemployment near 9% last time I heard, stock market is down, housing market struggling to keep ahead of foreclosures, etc. If you've been near a news source I'm sure you've heard this and more.

Meanwhile CEOs collect multi-million dollar salaries, athletes sign multi-million dollar contracts, and the government scrambles to "rescue the economy." Kari came home from Starbucks today and said they were slammed all day. When I drove past the mall, the parking lot was packed.

If what I'm observing even smells of accuracy, it seems like consumerism is alive and well even if stiffled a bit by a limiting of credit. Now, in the spirit of transparency, I've got plenty of debt. Kari and I have two mortgages and we've used credit to get by when not enough deals closed in a particular month. We're not victims by any means in this situation. We are participants and perpetuators. I'm not proud of it, but its the way it is.

Anyway...

The thought that I'm having started being formed last Wednesday. I was down at UW sitting around a table full of college students talking about life. One of them said he likes watching C-Span. I didn't know anyone liked watching C-Span. We talked a bit about the economy and the trouble we face as a country in trying to recover from the trouble we're in.

Later that night I heard more than one person pray for our country's economic situation, and that's where the thought sparked. Why would God want to restore our HEAVILY consumerist economy? I understand that He loves us, He blesses us (not always financially no matter what Casey Treat says), He is the source of every good and perfect gift. So why would He want to restore a system that worships clothes, cars, and houses, like golden calves? Wouldn't it be better for us to wander through the desert for 40 years

(Yes I almost wrote dessert, but who wouldn't want to wander through dessert more than through the desert?)